I don`t want to be this way.

I am really struggling, normally I put a face on things and pretend I am fine so that not many people realise how bad I am with walking and with the pain I have to put up with, but lately I am finding it harder and harder to pretend. I am not all right, I am in pain all the time, and just walking around my house is a problem for me, my back is painful, my hips hurt and the pain is wearing me out. My knees hurt, my ankles give way and my feet are painful, the toes seem to contract, its very strange and very painful. Even my fingers are giving me problems, the knuckles are swollen and hurt, I am no longer able to get my rings on the correct fingers as I cannot get them past my knuckles! My left shoulder grinds and crunches and is very painful and it seems to affect my arms which seem heavy and which hurt. I really don`t know what to do about it, and how to cope, to be honest, everything is getting on top of me. I never thought I would say this, but I can see myself ending up in a wheelchair, my walking leaves an awful lot to be desired, there seems no end to this pain, medication does not help, or not much, I see people walk past me who are much much older than myself and I feel awful, I am 56 years old and I don`t want to be this way.